Monday, May 9, 2011
Oh my goodness!!!!! You're not going to believe this! It's been a huge test for me these past 24 hours … why??!!! I am getting a new companion, and then she and I are ………TRAINING!!!!! NO JIVING!!!!!! For real mom, I am in a trio!!! Pretty wild!
So last night when I got the call from President Moldenhauer I was like, “What!! For real!” And he said, “Don't worry Sister Hawkins, you know the area and you’re going to do great and be okay.” My heart just totally sunk and I was like crap. So much was going through my mind like who knows what my new companion is gonna be like and I have to lead the area again and plus train a new sister from the MTC!!! And just trying to deal with two companions now and not just one!!!! So last night I was pretty upset and worried and scared and just really wanted to give up! I really did. I just kept saying, “I can't do this! I just can't do this!”
We were at Crystal’s house when we got the call and I was upset and just so worried and saying, “Holy Texas! What more can I handle with everything that has been going on.” Crystal was sweet, telling me it's gonna be okay. She said, “You wanted to go on a mission and you can totally do this Sister Hawkins. It's gonna be fun for ya.” I must admit I was just worried so much of how it's gonna work with three sisters now in La Porte instead of two. And I'm like, “Oh boy here it comes more trials!!!!!”
Poor Sister Kinikini is training too but also is “flushing” an area which means that Elders are coming out of the area and now Sisters are going into the area. So she has lots of stress too!!!! So last night she and I were talking and I was crying and she was crying and then she said, “Well Sister Hawkins, the Lord really must trust us if we are both training and one of us is being in a trio and the other one is flushing an area!!! And I was like, “That’s true.” I said, “The Lord knows what we can handle,” and then I said, “I just don't want to go through anymore hard stuff.” So last night was pretty tough!! And it was hard because I just wanted to call you so bad to tell you what is going on and to just get some “mom advice.”
So this morning we got up early and had to be at our church at 7:30 a.m. We first went to the Elders apartment and got Elder Hunt all packed. Apparently I misunderstood Elder Walker last night when he called with what we were doing today because we brought Sister Kinikini's stuff with us but apparently we were not supposed to because she was to stay with me and my new companion until Wednesday when her new companion would arrive. So we had to take all of Sister Kinikini’s stuff up to the Elders apartment and boy did I feel stupid for misunderstanding. But after all that we went and got a smoothie before heading to the church … pretty yummy stuff. We got to the church and the transfer van came and Elder Hunt left! While we were at the church Sister Kinikini talked to a Sister Wallace who had been her trainer and she found out Sister Wallace would be training again and that she is in a trio right now until her companion comes on Wednesday. So Sister Kinikini talk to the AP's and so now she is going to be able to go spend time with Sister Wallace until they both get there new companions on Wednesday. So Elder Walker, Sister Kinikini and I headed back to the Elders apartment to get her stuff. We also got us some kolaches (pastry) and then chilled at the church shooting hoops and just talking and having a good time waiting for my new companion and for Elder Walker’s companion!
So at about12:30 p.m. here comes the transfer van. Elder Walker got Elder Hope who is from Rexburg, Idaho and I got Sister Black who is from Pleasant Grove, Utah! And what is funny is that Sister Brosnahan trained Sister Black and Sister Black is following my footsteps because she is coming from Jennings, Louisiana. And what is even more funny is that Elder Hunt is going to be “flushing” his new area with Elders now, and Sister Kinikini is “flushing” the area of Sulphur, Louisiana, so Elder Hunt and Sister Kinikini are still gonna see each other which is pretty cool. (That part confused me but that is what Emily wrote!)
So Sister Black came on her mission in January so she is pretty new and we are gonna train together!! Pretty crazy stuff mom! And also she went to school to be a hairdresser and she brought her hair stuff, so who knows if I'm gonna get my hair all done differently or colored or something fun ya know. But we will see, we still got to keep things simple. She does a good job on haircuts! She cut the Elders hair in her last District and Elder Walker is excited to have a Sister who can cut his hair and she even cut Elder Hope's hair too! Sister Black and Elder Hope know each other already because they come from the same district! So it's all pretty funny!
So my goodness mom … my world as a missionary has really been turned around so much! It's been super crazy with everything that has been going on. It's gonna be so interesting what's gonna happen with me leading the area again and training and being in a trio. I am just really relying on the Lord right now. My mind is just going in circles from all the things that have been going on. It's hard to take everything in. For real. And I really truly miss Sister Kinikini. Sister Black seems fun and bubbly and she laughs a lot. I remember that because at “Sister Day”, she sat behind Sister Kinikini and I and she and Sister Brosnahan were just laughing and having fun. But it's really different because when Sister Kinikini and I got together, we just clicked and we talked a lot and we became close like on the very first day that we met. With Sister Black it's nothing like what Sister Kinikini and I have. It's going to be hard to connect with her and also to a new sister at the same time. So I'm just really stressing right now and really trying to be upbeat about everything. Like this morning on the way to the Elders apartment I told Sister Kinikini I had my time to be mad and upset and cry and wonder why me and why this and just being really hard on myself and not believing in myself at all. And I told Sister Kinikini this morning that I am really going to try to be myself and try to have fun and be the Sister Emily Hawkins that everyone knows and loves back home and just try to have fun and have a fun transfer. Hard to believe I said that this morning but I was like I need to do this and not be this shy girl anymore and be scared of things! I really need to give up my fears to the Lord and my worries and anxieties. It's truly hard to do that and I've been just hiding myself and not showing people the fun person that I can be. And I could only do that with Sister Kinikini and I just don't want to lose it but I feel I'm going backwards and not forwards today. And it's even harder because poor Sister Black was crying because Sister Brosnahan her trainer (aka mission mom) is gone now and she isn’t gonna see her. I know that was hard for me when Sister Smith left. I felt totally alone and just truly scared and I bet Sister Black is totally feeling like that right now. But I did get to see Sister Brosnahan one last time and said goodbye to her and she said that I'm gonna have fun with Sister Black and that she knows all about me. She told Sister Black I'm a hard worker and that she’s gonna learn lots from me. Unfortunately that even made me feel more pressure because right now I'm not a hard worker because I am still trying to recover and heal and can't work much and I can't do much and it's just so much pressure right now!! Sorry mom, I'm kinda venting in this letter just to let ya know all my feelings and thoughts. But to let you know on a brighter note, I'm excited in a way. A new Journey like Sister Kinikini told me and more new things for me to grow from. I know it's gonna be tough but the Lord is gonna be on my side and I know that everything is gonna work out. I don't know how things are gonna work or what is in store for Sister Black and I but I do know the Lord has a plan and things are gonna be okay! Everything is gonna be okay!
Well mom it was just such a huge blessing to be able to just talk to you and dad yesterday. Mom, did you notice I didn't cry at the beginning? Pretty much SHOCK! Uh!!! LOL, I couldn't believe that I didn't cry and that you and I just started talking yesterday! I thought that was pretty cool! It was just so great talking to you. After Elder Hunt, Sister Kinikini, and I all made our calls home we got to go outside at the Edward's house and roast marshmallows; fun, fun!
Well, President and Sister Moldenhauer have only like six weeks left!!! Pretty crazy uh! I can't believe I will be getting new Mission Parents soon! But what is super cool is that the last 60 days of their mission we are doing a Preach My Gospel reading/study thing! So I'm super excited of how it's gonna be cool that I am going to be able to have that learning study habit of Preach My Gospel and to really learn the lessons and to come closer to my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ! It's gonna be really cool! I've started some studying but the last three days I haven't been able to study because of transfers so tomorrow I can truly start up my studies again which I'm super excited about! I can’t wait to grow more spiritual and gain more knowledge the next 60 days by doing what President and Sister Moldenhauer wants us to do! It's super cool!
Well mom there is not a whole lot to write about because I got to talk to you yesterday! I just wanted to let you know of some things that have happen in the last twenty-four hours since we talked. I bet my letter next week is going to be super, super, super long with all the things about my new companions and being in a trio! It's just gonna be a wild roller coaster ride. Well mom I love you and miss you tons and it was so good to hear your voice yesterday! I love you tons and I will send ya some pictures that I have taken recently of Sister Kinikini, Elder Walker and myself in our Sun Glasses waiting for the Transfer van; it's pretty funny!
Well love ya and thanks for sending me more shoes and for my cool hump day package that is coming. I can't wait; it's gonna be super sweet!!!!!
Love Sister Hawkins
Roasting marshmallows after talking to our Moms!
Being cool and waiting for the transfer van!
I love Sister Kinikini!
Final picture with Sister Brosnahan
Sister Black and Sister Hawkins
Another chapter begins!