Sister Emily Hawkins' Mission: November 29, 2010 email and pictures

Another letter from Sister Hawkins. For the most part she is doing well. She is still struggling but pretty determined not to come home. Unfortunately the things worth having in this life are often the hardest. Emily truly wants to be a missionary and wants to serve her Father in Heaven but struggles with the unknown and being so far away from home. We are so proud of her for all that she has accomplished and she is so grateful for each and every letter that she receives. Your support is invaluable! Enjoy her latest letter, she is really beginning to sound like a Louisianan … “ya’ll”

Monday, November 29, 2010

Hey Mawmaw,

Lol! That is the Cajun way they say it down here. It's really for the grandparents but I want to use it for you and for dad it's pawpaw. So when I talk to you on Christmas I might say that lol. Who knows?

Wow it's almost December 1st. I can’t wait to call you and dad on Christmas. That would be super cool if Wade was there too! I got an e-mail saying he is going to see ya’ll in the morning on Christmas day. I don't know when we are doing our calls; I'll try to figure that out. Are Rachel and Jackson going to be there too? That would be cool. Then ya'll would be on speaker phone and I could talk to ya'll. I only get 30-40 minutes to talk so I bet it will go by fast.

Well this week has been fun and it has been tough. Sister Brosnahan is a really fun companion. She has her own personal thoughts and ideas and she just talks straight up with everyone. It's crazy and she really, really talks to everybody. I am not kidding. She isn’t afraid of nothing. Maybe that would be good for me to overcome my fears, right? We talked to a lot of people this week and taught a lot of lessons. We struggle at night to figure out where to go and who to see because it's dark earlier now and everyone is so far away and we have to drive everywhere. But we usually figure out somewhere to go and something to do.

This last week was good. We had fun over at the Touchet house. I forgot my camera so I didn’t get any pictures but I wrote very well in my journal about the food and the fun talks we had about Christmas shopping and lots more fun stuff! The Touchets are so cool! It's fun to go over to their house. It was fun. I had some yummy food. I had cornbread dressing. Ya’ll never had it up there in Idaho! I'm gonna get the recipe from someone. I tried it at the Turkey bowl at the church and we had it for Thanksgiving and boy it is so good!!! The food down here is good! I can't wait for you and Dad to come back with me to try this yummy food here in Louisiana. Even boudin is good. You will look at it and think, “What in the world am I eating?” But it's good. It feels like I am gaining weight and not loosing little by little like I was. But I'm still trying to run every morning and to do crunches. I'm working with Sister B. with running. She isn’t too use to it yet!

I spent a lot of money the last couple of days because I found me some boots and a nice coat! How cool uh. It has been super cold and I didn’t have warm boots or a coat so Sister Brosnahan and I went shopping because I couldn’t go out in the cold without proper shoes and a coat! And it's so cool because my coat looks like Aunt Amy’s missionary coat!

Now about my ear. It is ringing louder then ever and it’s the left ear, not the right one that had surgery. I just have been noticing it a lot more and it's hard to fall asleep because I have this loud ringing in my ear. It's not hurting yet. I'm worried about my ear. I just notice the ringing and its super loud and annoying. I can just always hear it and before I was used to it because it was a low ringing but now it's a loud ringing and it just isn’t normal plus it's not the ear I had surgery on ya know.

Well ma it's been tough lately because I am still trying to be myself and it's hard to be. Everyone is so talkative and has fun with the other missionaries and I am the one who is quite and sits in the corner. And I truly hate that. I wish I can be happy with myself and not be so up tight. I just feel so out of the loop and it's hard to figure out what I need to do. I just feel lost and still feel like coming home. But I know I am not going to even though everyday it is hard to figure out who I am. But I hope in time things will figure out right, the Lord will help me in some way. Mom I am going to stay because I know if I don't I will have so much regret and I will be so miserable. I know I will. I'm just gonna have to live one day at a time like Melanie wrote and told me to do so that's what I am going to do. Yes I am learning and I am changing a bit. But it's still hard to be out here. And plus it's getting harder because people are not writing as much anymore. I know I'm not the new missionary that is out and people get busy, I totally understand it gets harder. But I do love the letters I get every week from you and dad and Brother Bird and from Sister Bolander, and other friends and family when they have time. But this is just a tiny trial that I am going through to become stronger. These last few months have been hard and super long, and I mean super long, but I think the Lord is letting me feel like it is long because I wanted to come so bad that He doesn’t want me to see it fly by like it is with everyone else’s mission.

I got a really good letter from Wade and I miss him so much mom. I wish I could hear from him a lot more but I know he is a busy dad and a husband. I just love his letters of encouragement and he gives me tips and ideas to try to get through the holidays. It's really cool to get letters from dad. I know I haven't written him lately, my p-days are just so busy going to different places or for zone p-days with other missionaries or cleaning up the place but I will try to write him soon.

Well mom it' about time for me to go. I'm gonna send ya a picture of me and my new coat and boots and also a picture of my new hoodie and sweat pants I bought with the money Aunty Sarah and her family sent me. The apartment has been getting cold and they keep me nice and warm! But I just want to let ya know I love you and I miss you lots and thanks for being such a great support in my life. Your amazing mom and I love you and I just can't wait to hear from ya more this week! I love you so much!

Love Sister Hawkins