Still in La Porte!

Monday, June 20, 2011

Hey Mom,

Well you’re not going to believe this but guess what!!!!! Guess where I am serving!!!! LA PORTE, TEXAS!!!!! Wow can you believe that? I am still in La Porte! That totally blew my mind when we got the call Saturday night and we were told that all three of us were staying in La Porte. (At least that is what we thought!)

Well on Sunday I was just having a great day knowing that I was going to have Sister Black for six more weeks to help me continue to train Sister Henson. Then the Assistants to the President came by the church to drop off a car and they handed Sister Black the key. She asked them was the key was for. They then said to her, “You don’t know?” They then told her that she was getting transferred and that she will be opening a up new area plus she is training!!!!! Yeah for real! Both her heart dropped and my heart totally dropped like a huge bomb went off. I was just starting to freak out!!! I was like, I can't do this! How can I do this? How am I going to get through this transfer with Sister Henson? She is a sweet girl but she is just not trying and she doesn't talk in lessons and I'm just freaking out at this point. We went to the bathroom because I was crying and I needed a minute to pull myself together. We all went into the bathroom and I just broke down and was very firm with Sister Henson. I told her she needs to step up and that I can't do this work alone. I told her I need a companion who is willing to try and to come out of their shell. I told her I can't teach the lessons by myself and I need her to start talking and be more open. I told her it's not easy and that she really needs to rely on the Lord and that He is going to help her! She told me that she would so I said okay.

Church was starting so we all went into the chapel. During Sacrament Meeting I was just not in a very good mood. I was crying and just so worried and just stressing and wondering how I can do this if I don't have a good connection with my companion and that we hardly talk. I was just upset. Well Sister Black could totally see it so she passed down a sweet note telling me that she loves me and that Sister Henson needs me! That made me cry even more just thinking why me? How can I do this? While the Sacrament was being passed I just prayed in my heart for comfort and for some help! I started to feel some peace and things felt a little better. After church we said good bye to people and then I asked Elder Walker for a blessing. It was a wonderful blessing! I just love how the priesthood is restored on the earth and we can have it in our lives to bless us and to really give us the comfort that we need. It was a really sweet blessing talking about how it's time for me to be a leader and to be humbled and to have patience and to learn how to seek. I was told that the Lord loves me very much. In the blessing Elder Walker said he could always feel the radiant love the Savior has for me and he also said that he sees the comfort the Lord has given to me during the times of stress, frustrations and when I needed the comfort the most. He also said that I'm going to learn. It was a wonderful blessing! Very Powerful!

But I know it's going to be a hard transfer because after church we went visiting and Sister Henson wasn't trying. At one of the less actives home Sister Black ask Sister Henson to talk and to hold a conversation with this member but unfortunately she just sat there and did not talk. My heart just sunk really deep. When we were driving to the next appointment I was kinda frustrated and so I asked Sister Henson, “What happened? You told me today you were going to start trying and you didn't even talk when Sister Black asked you to talk?” She just sat there in the back seat of the car and did not answer me. I then kinda got after her and I told her that it's hard. I told her that I know what she is going through and that I know she feels scared and nervous and that she doesn't know what to do or to say and feels like she can’t do it. But I told her that over time she is going to talk and I will just be there and do my best to help her. She was still quiet but it was different the rest of the night because she started to talk some at the other appointments we had. So I don't know how this is going to work and I'm just praying so hard in my heart that a miracle will happen for me and that when Sister Black leaves on Wednesday that I have that power from God to be able to handle things and that I will be able to control the lessons to make them understandable and not confusing and that I will be able to still do tracting for the Lord! I am also praying for Sister Henson and that she too will see change and learn to love her mission.

I know that these first few paragraphs might seem mean and that everybody is probably thinking, wow she is tough and rude. But I know that Sister Henson has a sweet spirit and that she is special in her own way and that she is going to touch lives and that she is going to become a different person and become more like our Heavenly Father. I know that she is struggling just like I was and I just don't know how trainers get through these tough times trying to teach the new missionaries that things are going to be better down the road and to believe in us and to really rely on the Lord. I know the Lord shows us a lot of weakness up front when we enter into the mission field but He never leaves us alone to face our weaknesses. He is there to make us stronger!!!! I know some how and in some way that the Lord is going to pull me through this and He is going to make me and Sister Henson stronger in the process. There is a cool quote that I found yesterday while looking through the conference Ensign; finding it was a tender mercy from the Lord showing me that He is there for me!

It's by Elder Orson F. Whitney from the Talk by Elder Kent F. Richards entitled “The Atonement Covers All Pain"

"No pain that we suffer, no trial that we experience is wasted. It ministers to our education, to the development of such qualities as Patience, Faith, Fortitude, and Humility.... It is through sorrow and suffering, toil and tribulation, that we gain the education that we come here to acquire."

Now isn't that just beautiful for us to hear that any trials that we go through we get the education that the Lord wants to give us and it's such a blessings to be able to always learn through our trials and to have them make us stronger. That is why we have those weaknesses in life so that we can learn and grow. We just need to be ready for the trials and stay close to the Lord so He can make us stronger. We need to have faith to get through the trials. And with this trial of training for another six weeks I know it is going to be tough and there are going to be lots of tears shed wondering what I can do for my Sister who is struggling and scared with this new missionary life, but that is why we have the Atonement; to use it and to become stronger and closer to the Lord! Man, isn’t' this just awesome all the things I am learning! Wowsers!!!! :)

Well mom to let ya know, my dear friend Elder Walker got transferred to Pine Trails. That isn't far and he also got released as our District Leader but now he has been called to be a Zone Leader and what is funny!!! … he is my Zone Leader now! LOL. So I still get to see him at meetings. I just thought that was so funny! I joked with him today on the phone when he called us to tell us he is our Zone Leader. I said, “Well Elder Walker, this is preparing you for Assistant to the new Mission President soon!” And he was like "I will cut you!" Ha, Ha It's a joke we had in the District before he left. So it was funny.

Well mom it's pretty crazy that President and Sister Moldenhauer are leaving pretty soon … in like a week and a half! I can't believe that the day is coming where they are going to be gone. Today is going to be my last letter to President Moldenhauer and next week I will be reporting to the new Mission President! Yikes! Weird, I don't know what I'm going to say but the spirit will guide me! I'm praying today to know what to write in my last letter to President Moldenhauer and to also know how to ask him for more guidance on what I can do to help Sister Henson!

So something else interesting right now is that we currently have four Sister Missionaries in the apartment. Sister Black will stay with us until her new companion arrives on Wednesday and then we have Sister Bouwis, who I have done exchanges with before, staying with us also because her companion is leaving to go home and so she is going to be with us till Wednesday also! So we are really crowded in our apartment! I will have to take pictures of how we are all going to sleep! And oh man, it's going to be super crazy … FOUR SISTER getting ready in the morning trying to hurry in a very tiny bathroom so we still have the time to study! Oh my! Talk about a NIGHTMARE!!! So that is going to be fun to write to you next week about if I can remember.

Man, my mission has just been so interesting with all the things that I'm experiencing! Super fun! LOL! But you know, it's me climbing the mountain that I need to climb right now and me finishing the race like President Moldenhauer told me when he first met with me! So it's going to be awesome to cross the finish line and to get to the top of the mountain!

For each transfer we get new planners to help us plan and keep on tract. And so I always decorate mine; I will have to send you pictures of all my planners so far. Well it was ironic the thing I put on my planner this time. I put my favorite quote and a picture of Christ. It's the quote that is on the wall at home with the picture of Christ! "I never said it would be easy, I only said it would be worth it!" I actually decorated my planner before I knew how transfers were going to happen so now looking back I can see the Lord had to direct me to put that on this transfer’s planner, because this isn’t going to be easy but in the end it's going to be so worth it! Amazing uh, how the Lord works in all ways to help us out in our time of need! I'm so grateful for my mission and for the wonderful blessings I am receiving and for the experiences I am having! I just love it! Even though it's tough, it's so worth it because of who I am becoming! :)

Well mom, it's time for me to end my letter and go write President Moldenhauer before my P-day is over! I want to let you know that I love you and thank you for all the wonderful guidance and the knowledge that you and dad have taught me while growing up! It's a blessing of how I have been born of goodly parents like Nephi says in the Book of Mormon! You both are the best!! Well I love you and I will write to you next week to let you know about transfer 8 for me and how the first week went! I'm relying on the Lord and that's how I'm going to get through this! Love You Long Time!!!!

Love Your Daughter,
Sister Hawkins!