Emily was a little down on herself this week but by the end of the letter she was sounding better. She is so hard on herself and she just needs to realize just how far she has come. She has climbed so many mountains and is still climbing. I am so proud of her. She may not be that "4th Missionary" yet but she will be soon. (You will need to read this letter to understand this comment.) Here is her latest email:
Dear Mom,
Wow what a week! Things have been kinda crazy, I'm not gonna lie. Things have been hard for me these last couple days. The reason why is because our Mission President and his wife gave us some cool things for Christmas and one of the things they gave us was a package of talks about "Who Am I Becoming?" and one of the talks is about "Being the Fourth Missionary." There are four types of missionaries. The 1st and 2nd types of missionaries are kind of the same where they are just there and they do the things they want to do and don’t work really hard. And then the 3rd type of missionary is the one who is in between the lines and so it's like the one side of the line is being a missionary and the other side is thinking of home and wishing that you were home and that you’re on a mission because you have to be on a mission. Don't get me wrong, this talk is really good. I haven't read about the 4th missionary yet, just the 1st, 2nd, and 3rd. So for my studies tomorrow I will be reading about the 4th missionary. Anyways the 3rd missionary is me and it's sad. I'm being a 3rd missionary right know and it hurts to know that and I can't believe I've been the 3rd missionary. I will be sending ya a copy of this talk because it's good and then you'll understand more what I am talking about. But I've been just kinda down the last couple of days and it's hard to go to Church because I just don't feel part of the ward yet and I don't fit in yet but I hope to soon. I guess they will have to continue to get to know me! But I know I'm depending on the Lord and asking for His help! I know He is there and that He loves me. But anyways I'll move onto something else!
I did get my package in the mail mom. Thanks a bunch, you’re the best! I just love getting packages and letters but this week was sad as I only got like four letters compared to like 10-12 letters ya know. lol. But I know people are busy and they have stuff to do. But I also know that I'm not getting letters because I never have time to write letters because I hang out with my district on p-days and we have fun going to different stores or we hang out and play games. I do get a chance to write a couple of letters but not like I use to in Jennings! I use to write 10 letters on p-days in Jennings. I wish I had the time to write letters to my grandparents, to my aunts, to my family and to my friends. But I just don't have the time on p-days, especially today because today we are having zone p-day where we are getting together with lots of missionaries so it should be fun.
Oh guess what I found out the other day? I am going to be the only Sister Missionary going home with two elders and I know one of the Elders because he is in my Zone. His name is Elder Johnson and he is from Utah. So I know one of the Elders. LOL. Pretty cool! I will probably be a spoiled Sister the day LOL. But it's gonna be cool because what I've heard that we do before we go home is go to the Temple with the Mission President and his wife and hang out with them for a day! Cool Uh! I just thought I would share that with ya.
So I am so cold here in La Port, Texas!!!! It's BBRRRRR Cold!!!!!! Do you know why? Well it's because of the humidity and plus I'm by water and it's just cold and plus it rains so much down here. It's crazy! I still can't find those monkey gloves that I want. I wish I had them when I go tracking because it would be easier to write on cards and on pamphlets. But I'm keeping my eyes open!!!
Well this last week has been kinda long. We were just doing the normal stuff of going out and tracking and teaching. But one day it was so crazy and time went by so fast. I looked at the clock and it was like 5:00 p.m. and I just could believe it!! I said for the first time, “Wow today has gone by fast.” I guess just working hard and focusing on the Lord’s work makes time go by fast. But most days go slow expect for p-day and they go by fast! But I think time is going a little faster for me. I think why it's going slow is because I just think of the day too much and just wonder when I get to go home and just relax and write in my journal even though I shouldn't think about that and just the Lords work. But when you have tough days, you kinda just want to quit for the day but I know I can't. I'm doing a marvelous work for the Lord and I'm for sure Loving this work!
So you wanna hear some funny tracking stories!! Well here it goes. So yesterday we went tracking and we tracked into a lady’s house who used to be Mormon and we were like, “cool”, but she wasn’t on the ward list that we checked and she just didn’t want us to come over again to visit or nothing which I thought was weird. Then we tracked into another Mormon’s home that was on our list to go find yesterday because her and her family is less-active. We found her but she doesn’t seem too interested in us coming back to see her but we are gonna try her this coming week. And here comes the funny one. So we go to this door and we knock and ring the door bell. This Elderly lady comes to the door and her face stays the same. She doesn’t smile and she doesn’t say anything. Sister Singleton says "Hi, How are you today?" And without any movement in the face, she doesn’t say anything. She just slams the door on us. Sister Singleton just laughs because this lady didn’t have any emotion in her face. I just felt bad because I felt like we bugged her or made her upset that she had to answer the door. But when I think back on it, it really was funny because the lady didn’t say or move a whole lot. But that’s some tracking experiences I had.
Some people are nice when they answer the door and other people are just rude and say no and just shut the door. It bothers me a bit. I talked with Ken about it this last week and I shared my thoughts with him. He said that the doors I go to brings back some anxieties and fears because maybe they smell or how the house looks or how the people acted when they come to the door. But he says that I'll overcome that through time. But some other things he said made me say like, “WOW” to myself. He said I am doing very well and that I am progressing and that I know my weaknesses and that I know how to handle them and know the things that I need to work on and improve on and he says I'm doing very well. I wrote a letter to him last week before meeting with him about an assignment that I did. He said that he learned from my letter and that he showed it to another person at work and they were just really impressed with how I wrote it and the experience that I had. He says that he always learns from me at every session that we have together. He says that is one of my gifts that I teach people things. And of course I am thinking to myself, “Me teach people things? I struggle with teaching lessons, how can I teach people things?” But I do believe the things that Ken says. I love meeting with Ken! He is the best! I just have so much fun learning from him. My last assignment was to make a list of things that I wished I had learned before my mission and one of the things was to have memorized the 13 Articles of Faith. So for this next assignment he told me to read “The Tender Mercies of the Lord” by Elder David A Bednar in the 2005 April General Conference to have the 13 Articles of Faith memorized by the next time I see him and I see him every two weeks. Ken also had to meet with another Elder so during the time Ken was visiting with him I memorized the 13 Articles of Faith. How cool is that? So when Ken came out I said, “Guess what? I have all 13 memorized.” He said, “No way!” When Ken gave me this challenge he said he would memorize them too by the next time we meet. So when I told him I got them down he is like, “Now you have to give me a chance to memorize them ya know.” Lol!! We both just laughed. Ken is awesome.
Oh guess what else happened that was crazy this week? I got to pray at another funeral. So ya! Crazy uh! And I did the closing prayer too. I think it is funny that in my last area I went to a funeral and prayed and now this area I went to a funeral and prayed and it was for people I did not even know. It was really different because they weren’t members, in fact they were Catholic and in the Catholic religion if you are cremated you can’t do a funeral service in the Catholic church and so one the daughters of this mom is a member and asked the Bishop if they could do the funeral at the church. She also asked the Bishop to contact the sister missionaries and asked them to offer the prayers. It was funny because on the program they didn’t have Sister Sinlgeton's name but rather it said Sister Hutchensen. Then during the funeral the Bishop said Sister Hutchensen instead of Sister Singleton. It was a type-o but it was so funny. So that was another different experience that I will never forget. I think I keep praying at funerals to build my testimony of the Plan of Salvation! People that are there think that they are never going to see their loved one again and it's wonderful to know that you really do get to see them again if you follow God's plan and come unto him and be baptized by that proper authority that is on the earth. So I think I am praying at these funerals to build my testimony on that because it's so hard to think of losing a loved one and to feel like you will never see them again even though you really do if you are doing what you need to do in this life and to endure to the end.
I just love how my testimony is growing on different subjects in the Gospel and how much I am learning and growing! It's gonna be cool to come home and to sit down with ya mom and dad to share with you all the cool things I learned and tell you about the wonderful experiences that I am having on my mission. We are gonna be staying up late that night just telling ya story after story. I wish I could just call ya all the time to tell you of these things but I know why we just e-mail once a week and just write on p-days so we won’t get off track of doing the Lord's work. But we can wait for that day to come because I just want to be here to learn and to grow and to teach Heavenly Father's children about the Gospel so they can know the way back to Him.
Well mom I got to get going. I hope things are well and I hope you have fun with Melanie. I'm so jealous. Give all the girls lots of hugs and kisses from their Aunt Lou. I can't believe how much they have grown, even little Zaebyn. It's gonna be crazy, they all are going to be walking around when I get home. And who knows, when Rachel graduates, maybe her and Jackson will have a kid on the way!!! Wow, things are changing. How crazy! But I got to run and write to President Moldenhauer and then go have fun at Zone P-day.
I hope to hear from ya soon! Thanks for all the love and the support you give to me! I love ya lots!!
Love Sister Hawkins!
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